To order my life, the images of me and to be able to deal with myself, I wrote my own algorithm. It is based on Color. So instead of me hyperventilating during a panic attack I can watch a peacefull, nice moving picture. The pixels are reordered depending on there hue value. Now it looks more like a horizon or the sea.
The video is processed trough processing.
Going to Istanbul. Looking for images, looking for movements. Combine some experiences from Germany with experiences from Istanbul. A train is a ferry is a train? I liked the movement from the ferry, the up and down from the horizon, the slowness, i felt comfortable with this. But the environment was very unfamiliar to me. So I took the movements and mapped it to a train ride in Germany. Now i have my known enviroment combined with this movement. Now i feel fine.
How does it make you feel?
They are looking at me. I‘m looking at them, hidden under my headscarf. It‘s a protective layer, helping me to move in public spaces, and feel sheltered.
I‘m sitting in a park near to the bosporus; I observe the people passing.
Do you see the three men, walking behind their wifes? The small girl looking into the camera? Are they reacting to the headscarf? To the camera? To me? Not shure about that, but I experience something from them.